My Out of Reach Ideal

Cayapa Drew
37 min readJul 22, 2020

What we know about what…. Where to begin….

Before I begin, I’ll acknowledge that it’s admirable how Jack Kerouac was said to have never said anything unwell of anybody in all of his writings. I also see how Peter Thiel used a wave of “clean-tech” start-up failures as an example for an entire chapter on answer his 7 Entrepreneurial Questions and a reader doesn’t empathize that he’s defining the life endeavors of many people, when you read it, but he is. What I’ll begin by define with this story, is something that has been too common. You’re probably guilty of it too, therefore I’ve decided that somebody being made an honest example of is in no way a bad thing if that communicates to many, what’s happening in our lives.

I spent April of 2019 in Los Angeles. The sidewalks were a little cleaner in Hollywood and the city appeared to be a lost battle for personal freedom in how I got stuck in Hollywood, how my coffee habit led to bleeding feet and frozen days, and I couldn’t fly a sign for more than two dollars in a day which wasn’t enough to save my life. When my social security came in at the next month and I was finally able to leave, I was struggling with comprehension of what people were saying to me and with applying myself to normally simple tasks. Things as simple as washing dishes or shoveling dirt into a wheel barrow. Twas the May Gathering of the Medicine Tribe in rural Indiana and I flowed gracefully as the tribe has away of aligning when they gather. At the gathering, with intentional application though and a constant conscious effort alongside a loving community that valued the opportunity to share a moment with me regardless of my state, I was able to rapidly recover potentially to an even more conscientious state than I’d been in before April.

During this time of healing in Indiana, I followed what appeared to be an opportunity, to live in a trailer on a farm and earn $100.00 a week, working for the farmer. The farmer was a real kind, Godly man. The other two people there were his lady friend and her mentally retarded brother who had, had a traumatic accident that had left him that way and was struggling to improve his state. Due to this, the government was paying the family to take care of him. Given my own recent experience, I greatly registered with this and enthusiastically supported the prospect that he could totally recover.

In the trailer where I was staying, I found an unopened $50.00 DVD of Daniel and Tana Amen called something like “15 Ways to Improve Your Brain Health.” The lady told me it was for her brother to help him with his brain. Probably the second day that I was there, was a Sunday. I ripped the thin plastic seal from the DVD and put the DVD in, over our morning coffee. Everyone sat down to watch the DVD for her brother’s brain health, with me.

I’m fascinated with this sort of thing, so I was excited to watch this video for me! I’d previously spent hours studying Daniel Amen’s perspective on my own, according to all the free material that I could find online, so I had a good foundation for comprehending what-all he discussed and I wanted to know what was different about what he discussed on this $50.00 course. I took notes. I broke the whole perspective down into a plan for the whole family. During the DVD’s playing, the lady fell asleep in her recliner, spilling milk and something sugary across her lap and onto the floor (nobody was allowed to save the thing because reportedly that had been tried and would anger her), the farmer watched intently, fascinated through the whole video and, inspired at one point; shared a magic trick. The brother sat awake through the movie but wasn’t especially interested and seemed really, somewhat apposed to the whole event in a sort of rejection. When the Sunday, video course was done, I put my notebook away and went outside to evaluate some work I had to do the next day. Though it was a day of rest, I was obsessed with the importance of applying myself to something for my recovery. Joy that I could feel such a way when all I ever am is a chemical balance. (Jail could potentially kill this necessary drive in men as could the instabilities of transiency through trials of the world.) That Sunday morning, I had ritual and community. I opened a DVD and brought some people together for a purpose, I learned something, and then I got stoked to work on something new because I was able to feel excited and enjoy my day.

Later that day or some other while I was there, the farmer and I went into town. From questions about what-all he’d done in life, as a brother would, he shared a story with me. He said he’d worked on a big farm for years. “Once” he said, “a man below me, actually tried to take my job, there.”
I hate this sort of thing. “Oh, really?” I said.
“Yeah. This is what I did. I told him, “You can have my job. I’ve already talked to our supervisor and it’s all yours if you can answer me one question.” The man responded “Okay” So I said, “There are two parts……..” “Cows, deer, horses, they all eat pretty much the same thing, right?” The man nodded. “So why do cows, deer, and horses all have different looking poop? Ones a pie, the other’s little pellets, and the others a turd.” The man didn’t know the answer. Then I asked him “Why do you think you deserve my job if you can’t tell me about shit?”
I laughed. We went and got haircuts and new socks and then headed back to the farm.

In the trailer I was staying in, I made a copy of the Daniel and Tana Amen Video’s Review / plan for the whole family to put on their refrigerator. The perspective was divided into a “To get list”, “Practices”, “Rule’s / perspective to live by”, and “The effect we want”, a breakdown more relevant to their day to day and easier to comprehend than the entire course itself.

Over the course of the week or so that I was there I found that the farmers lady friend yelled a lot. She was verbally abusive to her struggling brother, to the farmer, to the farm animals, and to me; which generated a sort of inescapable anxiety, probably compounded by her smoking cigarettes in the house. And to push the extreme, the final night before I packed my belongings and began walking down the rural highway to get back to somewhere I could feel safe, she fogged the bathroom that served as a hall between her brothers bedroom and the kitchen, with spider and insect killer, that I could still smell in the kitchen the next morning. In the evening I could hear her seemingly un-ending bullyish yelling at the family’s goats across the hill in my trailer. I certainly saw her hit one from the other side of a wooden fence, for no reason other than this was part how she felt good treating them (I think this was some sort of coping mechanism for her) I couldn’t feel at peace at all in that household because of the lady’s constant.

I posted the Tana and Daniel Amen video review to the refrigerator. And though I’m not sure that she wanted her punching bag to recover, I realized a truth in this paper that I was pinning to their refrigerator; about the whole experience and the story the farmer had shared with me. This review was an outline of what the family knew about “Shit” or “What” of managing the recovery of their weakest member. The lady had bought the DVD for her challenged brother, expecting him to comprehend it himself, though he was moving very slow and could barely walk (fell often). “It’s for him.” The DVD had gone unopened until I opened it and put it in the DVD player. Even after watching it. She had FALLEN ASLEEP, not interested in the least. None had really set an example of acting on a desire to improve, to change something in their life, to apply this knowledge for the sake of healing her brother; or better, improving their own state of well being, to lead by example. The lady was confident that the information was irrelevant to her. Upon leaving the household, I was still the only one who knew what was preached on that DVD. The prospect of being saved or of learning something that could save her brother wasn’t even enough to stimulate interest.

This less than reasonable state of accepting things in our time as being fine enough to not even approach improvement, or irrelevant to our own responsibility (the dependence on us) for amending, or maybe the way of the times is heavy, hardened, or uncomfortable in some important piece of our selves and something has changed our ability to take action like we once did. So much of that experience, beyond any reasonable list; wasn’t fine and was really horrid. Could this state of acceptances be from a lack of being challenged? (in this instance there should have been plenty of reason to scream at one’s self “ORGANIZE”): A challenge shouldn’t be necessary to seek a greater sustainability of the whole. This is a moral. The perfection of our relationships and reaching the ultimate potential of our whole, the value of everything to the greater good: : should be the foundation of every direction we take in life. If there is something evidently wrong in the processes of our whole we should take immediate action to correct it. Maintaining our ability to each individually, within our interdependence, to have the right effect is essential to this. We want to be able to produce the right emotion in each instance of our lives, to mindfully approach our paths. Are we balanced yet between mind and body? From what chakra are we thinking? How well are we functioning with our brains dependences on the wellness of our chests and guts. Maybe we need balance out of our heads, to think more from our bodies, to breath and allow us to feel our world, to be in tune. The lady didn’t have any real comprehension of what the problem was with her brother. She should have opened that DVD and watched it immediately if she thought there was any value to it at all, to do something else is evidence of her personal “Mental Illness”.

We’ve been living in this age of acceptances. Like Peter Thiel states, “Our parents weren’t wrong to believe the future would be better, they were wrong to expect it to be automatic.” We’ve taken for granted things like empathy requiring at some point a first desire to understand, or to see the whole of us as being imperfect and so more worthy of investigation as to where the broken relationships that are making that so are found. At the beginning of May I couldn’t comprehend conversations or apply myself to achieving simple tasks, due to what-all experiences my journey had handed me. What I know from experience is that if I’d have gone to my mother for help, instead of seeking understanding and having faith that this was only temporary, she would without investment; in a moment of surrender to ( her own) hollow words of diagnosis’s, and to faith a system that she doesn’t understand: have sent me to a locked institution where I’d have had drugs forced on me without, even there, the ability to run, when in reality what I needed then and had needed all my life, and by the grace of God, at this time, had; was a loving community and the ritual of pushing myself to the curb with running shoes on, and at the end of May I was well on my way to being a functional member of society again. The state I’d arrived back east in (after the expectations of individuals generated by moral-less southern California and a terrified, hero cultured political campaign) was lacking one of the basic needs of safety, and of achieving my best which is rather amounted to after having met the psychological necessities of a support system or my own place of importance and has to do with my day to day pace and ability for moral abidance but is so primarily dependent on my connection to my community, which is why our tribe gathers twice a year for a time of healing and why that really is worth the reservation to understand what we need to succeed, what we can or can’t achieve as we are, and what time we’ve been lost in. In a sense, we have to return to our breathing, our thinking’s clarity to be humble and respect as our bests of all we can do, while we continue to make the gatherings and strive for righteous successes. I went regardless of the state I was in and the love of my people was what enabled me to feel free and go for a run and was the medicine I needed. I wasn’t the only angel-child there in a quiet state. The activists from the People’s Project bus were seemingly in a more pensive state than the previous October. They would sit in long meditations by the sacred fire and talk in very quiet voices, moving slowly, like a person who’s been shook and regaining control of their spirits. There was a feeling of uncertainty about the potential intensity of our circumstance, like we’d survived a series of bombings and were glad to be together but not sure what the future would bring as we all carried on with our pursuits somewhat automatically. But at this time I recovered, and for awhile before the world shook me again I balanced Maslow’s Heirarchy to the best of my ability and I was healthy in my feet, my mind, and my spirits.

The accepted states of being, are too common in our day. Our justice system simply isn’t just. “Justice” should be defined as the best potential of our whole, but the “Justice system” is a system of torture, a backwards direction. Our mental health approach is destructive and rash, and doesn’t yet account for lifestyle, environment, and ability for or opportunity for connection to ones community. Our more common expectations for a path in life are founded on something other than our real human necessities and the “Greater good”, of “Justice” the “Ultimate Potential of our Whole”, or a maintenance of our effect, our spirit, all that we amount to in this life. The expectation has been that individuals will each provide for themselves, limiting our potential. To begin seeing our world through a lens that isn’t buried from birth by a foundation pointing in an unsustainable direction, we have to reconsider our expectations and design things more worthily of what we want. A perspective clicked with me during a weekly guided meditation @ my local Dharma. The teacher regarded my breath like an old friend who was to bring a “clarity of thought” to my life, and in that day, I was riddled with an echo that had amounted for some time through rough times, simply from the process of living. I hadn’t been in a meditation routine for many months and I’d been through a lot. I understood clearly what he meant. That friend, my breath, was a difficult to recognize friend in a foreign place. Though, my friend, once I recognized him, once I could latch on to the comprehension of my breath, I could return to my clarity. That breath, my friend, breathing in, breathing out, was symbolic of the only thing in this life that is certainly true and real, as like my body sweats I have emotional connotations to things in my life including my own purpose, insecurity of my effect, my belongings, the strangers I encounter (sometimes worse if I especially like you), the echo of my thoughts and traumatic experiences which I certainly didn’t create but have known to haunt me as I struggle time and time again to rebuild the structure of my days. My friend, the breath, thought; is pure and irrelevant to all of this. He was there before that and is going to still be there when all of that unwanted spam ceases to exist and in my meditation it did. I let all of the spam go with the epiphany that my friend brought. That breath can symbolize a state that we want to reach each day, of how we want to be, our ideal. Are we viewing our lives through a lens that is clear, pure, and conscious like a breath in meditation, or one that still needs cleansed, that is yet filthy in the effect of insane, or competitive and greedy spirits, or displaced guilt that serves no purpose to our greater good?

Get Ready: Before we can begin defining our ideal, we have to reconnect with enough emotion to apply to shifting our lives. We must care about this and feel free.

Step One: Define Your Ideal
What I felt inspired to do after that guided meditation about my friend, the breath; is the first step in what we all have to do to enable a future founded on spiritual principle (Spirit is the whole of your effect in life and your effect matters). I began defining for myself how I wanted things to be. Not sure why I ever stopped that ritual before.

When the covid-19 affected our society, we all had to redefine our way of life to enable our safety. This brought forth many thoughts along the lines of this concept of defining one’s ideal, of reshaping the walls that encase our worlds to all the depths of how they align with and support our values and seeing plainly how dependent on a wrongful way, we have been.

There is so much to discuss in regards to how we should approach sustaining this ability of conscientious approach, of generating the right emotion, of being the spirits of our youth, and our best potentials in resulted way with our community.

Step Two: Build the Foundation
If you’re going to be present at a Black Lives Matter rally of an Extinction Rebellion rally, or on Sunrise Movement’s zoom calls, you have a responsibility that you aren’t upholding, to the community that you suggest as possible or maybe even suggest already exist. This slacked responsibility is of sacrificing your ownership, to open to the experience of living closer to your people. We have to build a community on intention in a shared living space. Two people in a house can be a bit much at times, but 8 or 80 of the right sort of loves in an intentional community can amount to us feeling passionate about things like washing the dishes, about being of use in any way. This emotional reaction to tasks is dependent on the collective lens of the household, which is amounted from the collective lenses of the times and the processes of life that amount to the way of the people. Each must reflect on him or her self if this lens isn’t yet correctly aligned. This becomes easier when we’re together. When we live together mindfully, our community grounds’ us, we’re able to follow and join all our peoples motions and projects and in numbers and love, we come to our senses about each other and find a greater peace in ourselves because each of us has lived our own life journey that’s amounted to us being here in this moment together so we don’t have to be afraid of each other in many ways, which in isolated distraction, we think of.

This second step is to create something encasing for intentional community; a sort of net, to catch all the insufficiencies of our human circumstance that our specific group of passionate are each invested in: really a passionate, organized, social movement. From this environment, shaped around the creative action processes that provide culture to our community, we’ll live according to the ideals we’ve defined as the first step of our reform (filling in all the sustainable material processes that we crave success in through that addicted desire to be sustainable).

Step Three: Apply Way of life to the foundation
This application of the ideals to the net we created is then step 3 in our social reform. From the way of life generated, then, will amount the ultimate potential of our whole.

Step 1: Define ideal
Step 2: Shape environment accordingly
Step 3: Apply ideal to life in collective activist space

The requirement for success should be only to have done one’s best at achieving one’s ideal. If you can honestly read your progress reviews and think, I’ve been doing precisely what’s been the best of my ability to do for me to achieve my ideals, the journey is leading me with grace, and I’m so in love with my people, then you’re a success and you should be a monastic investor in Concept Stores Company (See Concept Stores Description)

The foundation of a life:
If you’re sleeping under a tarp on a sidewalk, you know that you could get your life together and make something of yourself if only one aspect of your life wasn’t dependent on all the other aspects and you weren’t meant to go through your experience alone, lacking basic necessities like the ability to progress you each day, and contribute to something greater than you, or have enough to eat or a steady sleeping pattern. Seeing the whole picture of what that would take through the fog of lacking is like remembering to meditate and go for a run, journal how things should be and what you appreciate about people and are thankful for, as well as invest yourself in a new book (but you haven’t read in two years) and find passion in pursuing a seemingly hopeless route to something you can’t be certain of, each day without clothes and in a cold rain, plus you have to stay warm that night and people keep telling you about thefts, and even if you haven’t encountered that, you think of your life line belongings like your laptop and cell phone. And On top of that there is a sort of leach residing in the people that is sucking the joy of living out of your struggle to get back up. (So impossible) On the contrary, people in society often show emotions such as sadness or feelings of isolation due to their own attempt to control their surroundings from a similar but differently clouded fog to that of homelessness, while transients have a freedom, that when fed, can show a greater spirit of community than the common rich and selfish appear to even get close to in their fear and relationship lackings. To bring the whole picture together; in my life, my schools, governments, ultimately our people have had yet to transition into state that encompasses this “Whole Picture” of our lives to enable our best potential as a nation, though enabling this “Whole Picture” understanding is the solution to creating our sustainable future and leads back to each individuals moral commitment and the spirit that generates in the world. This is like an openness to give a friend a hug. We have to expect well of the action if we’re to create this patient and faithful collaboration of our invested people’s lives. With that well expectation then, we have to reach across the divide of what has worth to God and what is “Abstracted worth” of our sources for money, to take the world back for ourselves and really for our God.

In considering the overall interdependence of each other on our states of being, we understand this ideal, or as I’m going to refer to it, this “Radical School life approach”; to truly have a lasting affect and create what we want of our lives, can’t be a solo pursuit. Once our “Radical School” is a collective effort there are values relative to our relationships as modern people we should understand ahead of time.

One of the most common things that I’ve observed impeding or destroying the ability of people’s American dream pilot projects to succeed is ultimately a result of not having a foundation that encompasses the whole of our ideal and appears in the result of a person in authority not remembering to have patience with their subordinates; and in that patience, seek a deeper understanding of why each is as is. To live well together, one can’t put, their wwooffer’s belongings on the street over something that happens in a night, when one’s wwooffer has and is a commitment in the morning or lash out emotionally for any instance of an absorbed moment in time, as this can potentially be a lasting effect to the home, especially to pilot projects and with people you’ve only known a short time and people who haven’t already experienced such failures of homes. I’ve witnessed this numerous times. The greater purpose that we’re investing ourselves toward is worth so much more. What really matters in this time is that we’re in agreement about the deeper solution to that seemingly not-entirely comprehendible and doped out way of life, that has lacked conviction and been hesitant to ultimately shift in the right direction for us: The direction that we know is both right, and possible.

This direction, the morals that if you were to define your ideals for a relationship and for how would make most sense for you to be in a depth of considering an ideal world, are seemingly very rare in coincidence with the people who actually open the door to give strangers a new foundation or to host people for the purpose of starting some sort of experimental project on their own idea of how to benefit the greater good. More commonly the people are some sociopathic degree of off balance, and instead of supporting and working wholly to encourage the best potential of me as their follower, they’ve pressured me out of an insanity of thinking that they can prove a point or teach a lesson through torment (much like our jail system) and ultimately I’ve not achieved any real reliable successes for over half a decade of journeying into my own seeming destruction and lostness, through their abstractions of my potential.

If we may, now, decide to do the right thing, regardless of our shadows, we’ll be running to the freedoms of heaven, together and as each of us (being apart of this) WANTS to achieve our best, though we have each lived a different life and there are all varieties of people in the world and if you’re bound to disagree, you’ll be best to observe patiently and think of the solution to the disagreement and put it ahead of the conflict, than to acknowledge the disagreement. This is the essence of the solution I’m defining in this book. The network that encases our lives.

We each know ourselves to have been imperfect but we’re here as we’ve put ourselves to be and as we’ve been guided to be; though part of that guiding has been a natural lack of guidance so now, together; we will achieve the perfection that none have alone and in a sense build our stairwell to heaven, our utopia, our sustainable future. No person was meant to go through life alone, though, in the modern day, we’re often expected to, so patiently, let’s seek the goodness within me and you to be highlighted so that goodness may prevail over all else. If we can’t prevail over our emotions to a point in which they make sense, we’ll find the stresses of one individual ultimately cutting between the people of the home and their greater potential together and we’ll have to resolve that individual’s ability to feel right.

We’re filters and we’re in life together:
In the oceans, the most extreme instances of lacking ability to float will sink to the bottom. In our people systems this might look like a lack of credit to transfer between schools, a broken law (sometimes an exception to a rule, a no-longer just, or an incomplete law), suppressed personal relationships under the rule of immoral guilt, greed, or the forgotten necessity of seeking understanding from each individual encounter (necessity for empathy in sharing this life), and certainly appears in more ways that are always relative to our balances of mental and physical health / ability to generate the right emotion in each instance of our lives and like Peter Thiel defines in his book “Zero to One: Notes on Start-up Companies” our necessity for the most well way to progress is having an indefinitely (or uncertainly) optimistic (or hopeful) worldview. In effect of what we are, our beings are sorts of filters of everything: e.t. emotional connotations all day everyday, reason, ingested substances, touch in every sense. All these things and more, we filter. Given the common understanding that to some extent what you put into the world, you get also in return or at least receive some echo of, if we’re to navigate in the most well direction, Peter Thiel’s, “Indefinitely Optimistic Worldview” to approach life like things will most likely gravitate to, or in relationship to each other, most likely already are, as we’d like them to be. We must expect well things and give each other the benefit of the doubt, to an honest extent of even if we couldn’t find actual hope for sustainable progress, we should behave and approach everything as if there was. To see our lives this way, we have to habitually notice and promote that which we appreciate of everything, even the things we don’t appreciate the whole of, as if the promotion of that single aspect that we do appreciate, might draw the whole through an overwhelming cleansing to an amended state of well being that we can wholly appreciate. I like the example of the Rafting Guide that Dean G. Uses in his book Millionaire Success Habits… (word for word story quote) It’s worthy of tears and I’ve cried over the habitual hangups and electric-blah of how we’ve remembered eachother, how we’ve been geared through the system to perceive ourselves, simply because of unconscious processes. If my mother had considered my father with a comprehension of life through the lens of this ideal she could have empowered him to achieving something with her instead of herding him into an “addict” mindset. For many, this necessary habit of thought will have to be intentionally developed (We’re going to enable this in a compounding community effort through our approach that begins with community connection and my own self actualization) as our habits of thought are yet collectively imperfect and to some extent affect each others, though this affect from others can be reduced and potentially, in time completely diminished to be replaced by our own intended habitual considerations, through a ritual that I find easiest to maintain with the comfortable class of a USA produced, organic buckwheat and cotton meditation cushion. The simple practice is to, after each daily meditation, log how that meditation went along with three things you appreciated about in the past day. And three things you’re grateful for. This will over time develop the habit of focusing on the sorts of things you list and in effect you will find within you; a more common thought process of expecting well things.

I like how Justice D. Warren defines this appreciation, quoting Ghandi, after touring the community of Lincoln Heights N.C. “Touring Lincoln Heights gave us a real perspective on poverty in the state. Living in Chapel Hill, it is easy to forget that life in that bubble is not indicative of most communities. I have often passed through the “poor” area of cities, and have not thought much of it, mostly regarding the situation as an inevitability — there will be rich areas, and there will be poor ones. But this tour taught me there are all sorts of unforeseen actions that lead to the state of the community, most of which are out of the control of its residents. It was Mahatma Ghandi who said “A nation’s greatness is measured by how it treats its weakest members.” This tour helped me realize that we as a nation have a long way to go in giving everyone an equal opportunity at success and happiness, and I am motivated more than ever to help make that happen.”

And to quote Ghandi further, “I claim that human mind or human society is not divided into watertight compartments called social, political and religious. All act and react upon one another.”

or in relevance to the specific times of our state, the people of our society are not entirely exempt of each others states of wellness. We are interdependent in the ways of everything you can observe about another person, and for me this is certainly relevant to their care of diets, or will for initiative, their stability or regular practices, and their thought processes which direct conversations and could potentially in some cases have a very immediate affect on another’s.

Marianne Williamson’s perspective of our social state, in her use of Ghandi’s perspective, above (in The Healing of America); is paraphrased as “You can’t break society down into water tight compartments. To change one little piece you must have a powerful grasp of the whole.” Or in relevance to this ideal, “To change one aspect of your way of life your foundation must support the whole picture of your ideal so that the tide doesn’t reclaim your sand castle.”

So the question again is, how do we take hold of the whole to create this optimistically indefinite and appreciative of each other, well expecting, paradigm shift that enables us to eliminate our impediments and progress most efficiently towards our sustainable and so heavenly future?

Radical [rad-i-kuhl]


  1. of or going to the root or origin; fundamental: a radical difference.
  2. thoroughgoing or extreme, especially as regards change from accepted or traditional forms: a radical change in the policy of a company.
  3. favoring drastic political, economic, or social reforms: radical ideas; radical and anarchistic ideologues.
  4. favoring, supporting, or representing extreme forms of religious fundamentalism: radical fundamentalists and their rejection of modern science.
  5. forming a basis or foundation: What is the radical reason for his choice?

The reason we require a radical approach weren’t entirely depicted by a comic I read in one of Asheville, NC’s “Mountain Express” Early September (2019) prints. In the comic was JFK stating that we should be entirely running on our own sustainable energy sources by 2030. Then in the comic was also some finely dressed modern powers requesting to procrastinate that date. The reasons this is such a struggle to make happen and why my ideal is so out of reach for me is in the effect of our skewed ability to prioritize our deeper values, our preoccupation / acceptance / expectation of life as is. The time we’ve been lost in.

I had a dream in which I was sitting on the smooth floor of a tall ceilinged room with columns down the center and tall glass windows revealing the dark star sparkled cosmos. The room was on board a space ship floating far from home. People sat in groups around the floor of this large open room like children waiting in a cafeteria or gymnasium for the bell before school. I felt that I wanted to get away from the people. There was a hall opening to a stairwell from the room around the corner from where I sat. Thinking of a friend who I hadn’t spoken to in a long time, I adjourned from the room down the hall and up the stairs half the flight or so to a platform where horizontal windows revealed that the space ship had glided down to the surface of a planet. The navy blue of an ocean’s waves were tossing before me. I felt both a deep infatuation to the life of the planet and an intensity about my relationship to it. Then I woke. I was in a jump suit with a plastic band around my wrist on which was printed my name, booking #, I.D. #, barcode, and photograph. I climbed down from my bunk to another smooth floor, where I sat against the wall at the foot of my bed to hear the echoes of voices and cards on metal tables over the balcony from where I sat. Something I couldn’t escape in any instance of abuse or mental illness (including criminal insanities) which the county jail I was in certainly was a cause of.

Currently the prospect of intergalactic lifetime’s, of journey’s to other planets that could support life, sounds like life in a prison. But by God it should sound like eternal life and unending passion. Who of us good people would commit to such a journey with the rest of us. Many of us have sought to isolate ourselves from each other and collective efforts towards the greater good fall apart from poor leadership in which the genuine and direct people are often the one’s run off by the “insane” aggressors or aren’t valued in their real importance to what the project is. A friend once explained to me that the insane sorts generally like to hold the keys for use in their dictation. Is it the people in our lives that make our lives hell? If we did commit to such a thing as a journey forever with a group, what would we do to our lives in the rest of the cosmos? The same thing we’ve done to our planet here? No. We really won’t let that happen. We have to succeed with this ideal for the maintenance of our spirit’s, our effect’s first so that we can build something together. It won’t take much. This could happen quickly. We could shift the whole world in the direction we truly, deeply, want it to go. All it will take is faith and a necessary subtle shift in how we approach our lives, and the whole collective minds of the people will shift in how they perceive the time they have and the things they value in their lives. This company, culture, and sustainable technology” is what I call a “Concept Store”.

To create this shift is to turn a life in prison scenario into an applied conversation of our ideal.

(Part 1 The Ideal)

The Ideal that we each ultimately have (by the extents of what abiding our deeper morals would entail), is; in summery, to have a specific sort of living and working environment for our activist culture. We need this pace-able space to devote to enabling comfortable study that brings together the whole picture of our lives to reflect on continuously and repair what-all’s been lost in the journey. In each of the “Ways of life” I’ve observed, there seems to be a lack of acknowledging the dependence of community relevant psychological necessities on one’s ability for self actualization, so this is an approach to fulfilling our human necessities by turning Maslow’s Hierarchy upside down to balance all the lower addicted pieces on that missing piece of our lives. This is a sort of post modern anthropological approach to reforming what our relationships our founded on to enable the best potential of our lives.

Given the dependences of our self actualization, which I’ll define shortly, we want to found our paths on moral philosophy that maintains itself through our regular processes. The morals we define, aren’t character traits but statements of guiding philosophy such as always achieving one’s best, considering every direction in life by it’s value to the greater good, seeking to understand or appreciate what we can in each instance of our lives, and always learning.

So Much to Consider:
Morality has to sustain itself through the processes of our way:

There is a story of today, of the efforts of all to amend the world that we’re living in, of lives of pursuing, and efforts of achieving something of the same objective; each fulfilling their part in sustaining the planet: and the depths of that story reach to all of rural and radical states and the speeds of our people systems and reflect a smallness of individual perspectives, but together a pace-able web of perspective to organize and regard as the whole picture. In this story of today we’re each a piece of the whole and each unique in a way, but have a point in essence of ourselves that maybe we can agree about. In this story of today, we discover the way of life that society is and what the truth of what the solution is to enabling a sustainable future and what that will require. (As a man at a bus station told me in December of 2018. “We’re all trying and thinking we can solve the whole of everything all by our selves, when we’re really all little pieces of the whole movement.”)

In this truth of the sustainable resolve to our society, this small shift in the whole’s way of life, this populations mass return to sanity and what we profoundly want, each must define their own study or way of life and pursuing our ultimate objective for their self, because the truth is our modern age and acceptances have been an insane cycle of clouding our own lives with flawed ideals that together waste our resources, from papers and gasoline, to the driving force behind your thoughts.

The point we may agree on, in essence of our selves is where we find the starting point of our reform. “It’s in each’s spirit that this renaissance takes place.” (paraphrased) Marianne Williamson

With one’s spirit being understood as the effect of one’s being: the whole of the vibration you set in the world, we want to enable the optimal result of each’s spirit and thus the optimal result of us as a whole, as well as a sense of clarity as to what our whole has to offer.

The point in essence of our selves is of potential and value to each individual of finding a way to maintain hope for each. That maintaining hope of potential and value of us each reflects in the Christian Faith which teaches that the purpose of our existence is to have a relationship with God or fulfill His purpose and at one point regards Jesus as our “Sustainer”, as well as it reflects in our existential benefit of learning, which is the core of this sustainable way that I call the “Radical School” approach to life that enables us to guide ourselves to having the spirit we know we should and requires us to step back from our hasty relationships to profoundly adore our opportunity of living together in each days circumstance.

The Resolve
In each instance of poverty or suppression, including disingenuous relationships; we have to evaluate and meet our real human necessities to define the applicable daily, weekly practices and collective effort that maintains a collection of people in the state that enables them to most effectively carry out the footwork necessary to successfully, redirect themselves and like a blossoming forest of righteous enlightenment, and in effect directs all the collectives of society to a state of mental wellness. As each person’s progress will be compounded by the progress of all the people at their concept store. This ideal and trial-some, way-of-life-resolve to our society is defined by each for himself or herself but isn’t and can’t be a solo pursuit. This school is a dedication to retrieving our minds from the misguided state and acceptances that we’ve found ourselves in, until now. When we gain the clarity of how we could best enable progress, we must define to ourselves that way and know the emotion to put forth a genuine, thoughtful, willful action to achieve the fulfillment of the ideals we’ve defined. The misguided state of acceptances that we’re retrieving ourselves from isn’t solely our media, ingested substances, un-sustainable comforts, or traumas of a competitive, disconnected, ultimately misguided age, as all of these stem from our collective perceptions of each moment and how we react and, as people do; how we direct the world beyond our individual. The real value of us is in how one may state to himself, “I am my company. And my business is in effect the vibration I create and how I handle my relationships.” This must be a clear understanding for the way of life to succeed, as I’ve noticed not only in movements but really the whole way of our times, a seeming disconnect between peoples knowledge of how they should be and how they actually are. The outline of this school to company approach should help inspire you to a way of maintaining that spirit and in effect product of a life that you want, given that you can find your other people who feel compelled to achieve the same. “I haven’t yet (March 2020).”

Radical School Approach

There is always something of value to learn more of or progress further and like Tony Robin’s states; If you can get the right emotion, you can put yourself to achieving anything. The ability of generating that emotion requires maintenance to sustain. When that maintenance is achieved; a learning of ones life through a concept of joy and appreciation of each-others influence (or vibration, effect, or by that sequence, “Spirit”, and contribution), as apposed to a competitive chore, provides a well of passion, that is every purpose or lasting value worth living for. In affording that maintenance of one’s spirit, we’re reaching for the well of infinite purpose that’s inside each individual and in essence creating our own Heaven, our own earthly tribute to God’s house, through a sort of social transformation, a subtle paradigm shift that happens within each individual, but a whole bunch of individuals at once and like defined in Marianne Williamson’s The Healing of America, begins with a way of life and that way of life is, in essence of our necessity and ultimate potential, why we live.

The way to affording that maintenance and creating heaven might begin with understanding the value and potential of our least considered people and how that parallels the value of our more financially secured classes.

Maintaining Values (Sustainable Progress) Living with Modern People
Each of us is the entirety of a person with a life experience that has amounted to us currently and each requires a sense of security to reach our optimal potential. To meet this necessity of security, it very much matters who has power. In a sense of how you can’t do “good” for the wrong reasons because then the direction of the good action is actually a push towards “evil” (evil as in the greed and fear-or-displaced-guilt that robs us of our more worthy potentials that are generated from direct progress, (whole picture progress doesn’t require catastrophe’s for knowledge, instead it generates a depth of everchanging product). The means are as important as the ends i.e. the effect of who we are during the journey is as important, as the effect of what we do. Be sure not to hesitate to save the people you love. If not, time may slip away and cause damage, loosing you what you have that you love and guiding us in an insane direction (not Heaven). Even in the experience of couch-surfing I’ve encountered unreasoned expectations of me as a surfer, though I’m certain the people we’re genuinely functioning from the smallness of their individual perspective, but that smallness could possibly become a more entirety encompassing perspective with a shift in expectation. The truth is, in hosting or leading a project, we’re never just helping a poor individual, in fact most travelers are lit with the confidence of having taken initiative to do something out of the ordinary, and usually very purposefully directed with their time. As well as being something admirable, and no pity, people aren’t naturally accustomed to finding peace in new strangers homes, or in places they’ve never been. That takes time. As couch-surfing hosts or project leaders, we have to perceive each relationship as our opportunity for a passionate experience of sharing life with our sisters and brothers during the start of new and blossoming chapters that could reach the greatest potential, with an empathetic patience, in expecting that best to be. Too often, I’ve witnessed the impatience of people’s rash misunderstanding of “us” result in controlling behaviors that ultimately end the new relationships. If we want our relationships to amount to something deeper, we can’t have any sense of retaliation or want to control each-other. As Marianne Williamson states, something of a philosophy: as long as somebody believes that someone else has to be suppressed for them to succeed; we won’t have justice. Or as Peter Thiel states, “Competition is an ideology — — The ideology that pervades our society and distorts our thinking” and I’ll add to this statement, often it isn’t the main focus where the competition arises, it’s in some subtle fear of mis-placed guilt of the suppressor in the means. The reason for the “competition” appears to be simply the belief in a competitive world, by the oppressor. As this then compounds the distorted perception, and leads the person away from what they more deeply want, this is a sort of insanity. We must have faith in the potential of lifting each other as a brother-hood. Then from our seeds of effort and thought, the expanse of our progeny can progress in the understandings of the balance that our lives could really be with this radical school approach to an ever amounting life of direct progress. By this understanding much depends on who has power and who we officially employ in our company.


Since we want to maintain our spiritual principles through our way of life, you might think of a church being the starting point. Since the resolve of our times is in activism and living closer together to make that possible, the church might not work. When people talk about “activism”, somehow democracy always shows up. I believe in the non-partisan “Activists” who believe in that system, IF they will sacrifice their current way to live closer, but I don’t personally believe in our current system.

Initially the Children of the American Ideal, that we are a people who if ever faced with, should seek remedy from institutional suppression; want to homestead and simply break away from society, this makes a whole lot of sense, but it doesn’t save everything quick enough, as the fog of the mainstream acceptances is real. And not much affected by the sustainable “homesteading” of small groups. I’m also finding that this effort towards “Sustainability” is generally a very material approach. In all ways of life that we consider, we want to evaluate whether all of Maslow’s Hierarchy is met, and what are the relationships between people dependent on? If Maslow’s hierarchy isn’t entirely met, what can be improved on at the foundation of the way of life to enable fulfillment? Concept Stores is my suggested solution to what I’ve observed.

(Refer here to the Technology vs. Collective Worldview Timeline Resource in part 3) People historically grouped together around the world in villages as opposed to alone-as suburban and retiring Americans, very much to live more efficiently. Though our country was founded on pioneers that claimed much to themselves, so maybe for that reason, we’ve raised people to believe they should do the same. And I’m not sure we as people in the world have ever had it “right”. My friend suggested that our parents growing up during the cold war and being told they had to protect themselves, the period of depression had some effect like that too, along with wartimes and then extreme desires for peace in contrast. Partly we’re also carrying the consequence of globalization and consumerism, as Marianne Williamson depicted in Healing The Soul of America “go home now, scatter to your rooms, and enjoy yourselves with all the toys we sell you.” So competition and control, which is the primary evil that has disrupted my pursuit in my urban place. The off grid homesteading does help with that and on those off grid communities we can observe and learn from the foundations of people’s governing themselves.

The solution…. In our own sort of God’s house / brainstorming pace of progress and research, with a community that allows us peace, we want to be close enough to influence and be influenced by or keep in touch with mainstream society. We want to set an example though, so we can’t be founded on the same wrongs as the current systems that society has in place. We have to live through an education that encases the truths of our circumstance. We’ll be best to have a roof over our workspace, refrigeration, and all the opportunity of earning money as well as the ability to influence society as our school progresses.

This is a responsibility that we can’t let go of: this ever-amounting company that’s going to save this other thing, the mainstream way of life, society. Our radical school, our social movement, our undying faith in ourselves and others who show passion and investment like there might be some profoundly deeper worth to their person than their evident circumstance.

The opposing value of spiritless scum is a real thing for overcoming.

It would take a very specifically different approach to forming a community outside of society that gave space for pacing and leaving the whole picture of brainstorming perspectives out for diving through under a roof of our workspace with refrigeration, and all the opportunity of earning money as well as the ability to influence society as our school progresses, and flat ground for running on. This could be done, but not with the financial resources I have access to. No matter if the schools’ mission be the same as mine or only some fews’ independent business plans, to succeed, we’d really be best to found our way of life near our real necessities for a living and working environment.

I’m going to call the space where we devote to living closer together for the purpose sustainability and our best potentials, our “Activist House”. Maybe you have a house that you own, but you LIVE at the activist house because we’re building something with our experience there. It might also help to have more than one activist house in the same city. That way our resident activists can surf between to give space or enable clarity of the more refined focuses we get into in one world or another as makes sense.

Weakest members of society
+ enabled clarity of whole picture of lives (You’re your company / you define)
+necessities met
Ultimate Potential of all of our interdependent whole

Human Necessities:
This graph doesn’t really make sense in a way of one category having more or less value than another. It’s really more of a bullet-point list. A well state of mind and body requires all of the list met. Self actualization, of asking one’s self “Am I achieving my best” pertains to one’s pace, moral abidance, and balances which are all directly effected by one’s ability for esteem or to feel as if they belong. The two Psychological necessity categories and Safety are very much dependent on one’s connection to their community. Really what the list is, though is similar to how all the lobes of your brain work together to achieve the whole person and life that is you, and maintenance is essential to their longevity. We’re pretty tough, but we are effected by life in one direction or another. In most ways of life I’ve observed, the piece of the pyramid that’s lacking is Self Actualization. Our lives, and priorities, the things that guide our expectations and plans seem to be shaped less around our creative processes than the other portions of Maslows graph. Perhaps this is because of our beliefs in the past decades, but then as we should now be entering an age of balancing we should begin our approach with meeting this necessity, collectively. We’re addicted to finding sustainable ways of the rest and so to some extent it’s just a happening thing that we reach to fulfill their requirement and that will fall in line as we pursue this “self actualization” or creative-product-of-life-piece that’s lacking.



Cayapa Drew

The indigenous peoples of Latin America have three words for community works for the greater good without self interest. The words are Minga, Minka, and Cayapa.